- The first I improved my paper is I reworded part of my conclusion that didn't really flow.
- The second way I improved on my paper was on my work cited page. On my first draft I printed I made a mistake where my work cited page printed half way down the page. Now my work cited format is correct.
- The final thing I fixed in my paper is I had a couple extra word or missing word mistakes. For example I cited the an author of an article before and then after the quote.
Peter's paper
- The first thing Peter fixed in his paper was he previously had a paragraph describing the Mexican drug cartels business in sex trafficking, but he took it out. That was a good decision because this paragraph felt like it didn't really belong in his paper because it doesn't have to do with his thesis.
- The second thing Peter did was he reworded the start to his second paragraph so it flowed better. Before I didn't know if he meant the cartel brings supplies to make drugs into the U.S, but now I know he meant they supply us with drugs.
- Then over all he took out some extra words, put commas where they were needed, and put in words that were missing. Which now his paper has a nice flow to it.
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